Best Jokes

A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, “The end of the world is tonight!”

I'm not positive, but I think it was Farmer Geddon.

The first rule of passive aggressive club is...

You know what, nevermind. It’s fine.

A fisherman walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman across the way. He approaches and just as he is about to speak, he drops his fishing line. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick it up.

The woman laughed and said, "Is that your best pick up line?"

The fisherman replied, "Actually yes, my name is..."

The tot had just been put to bed for the umpteenth time and his mother's patience was wearing thin.

"I don't want to hear you call 'Mother' one more time!" she warned him sternly.

After a few minutes of quiet, a small voice came from upstairs, "Mrs. Jones? Can I have a drink of water?"