Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries!
Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!
Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes."
Friend: "How?"
Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."
How do you make Holy Water?
You boil the hell out of it!
If 'I' comes before 'E', except after' C'....
Then how come SCIENCE disproves it?