Best Jokes

If a gang of robbers dove into a swimming pool...

Would that cause a crime wave?

Two old ladies meet for the first time since they left school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?"

"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, third to a preacher and I'm now married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"

"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"

Standing on the sidelines, during a game being played by my school’s football team, I saw one of the players take a hard hit. He tumbled to the ground and didn’t move.

We grabbed our first-aid gear and rushed out onto the field. The coach picked up the young man’s hand and urged, "Son, can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no."