A man walks into the grocery store and ask to speak to the manager about buying all the rotten eggs.
"What do you want with all the rotten eggs?" the manager asks. "Are you going to see the new comedian at the theater tonight?"
"Sh-sh-sh!" hissed the buyer nervously. "I am the new comedian."
A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school formal.
“Gross,” complained one girl loudly to her friends, “this dress makes me look 40 years old!”
“May I have it?” called out the lady. “That’s just what I’m looking for!”
A trusted aid was counseling the senator, "Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you."
The senator replied, "Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I'll turn around and agree with them."