Best Jokes

Professor: "Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?"

Student: "Because they keep breaking out!"

A heart surgeon came to a mechanic to repair his car. The mechanic had a look at the car's engine, opened a valve and fixed it.

The mechanic said, "I repaired the engine which is the heart of the car. You also operate on the hearts of humans, so our jobs are quite similar. So why it you earn more than me?"

The doctor replied, "Can you repair the car when the ignition is on? We can!"

A man walks into the grocery store and ask to speak to the manager about buying all the rotten eggs.

"What do you want with all the rotten eggs?" the manager asks. "Are you going to see the new comedian at the theater tonight?"

"Sh-sh-sh!" hissed the buyer nervously. "I am the new comedian."

A trusted aid was counseling the senator, "Some of your constituents are beginning to disagree with you."

The senator replied, "Keep tabs on them. When enough disagree with me to constitute a reliable majority, I'll turn around and agree with them."