Best Jokes

My wife got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days...

Then the mud fell off.

A guy kept boring his friends by going on and on about his ideas for a musical based on his life.

Eventually one of them said to him, “Look man, there’s no need to make a song and dance about it!”

Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives it to the next town and dumps it there. When he gets home, the cat was there.

The next day he drives it 50 miles out and leaves it. When he gets home, it's there again. So the next day he drives it to the other side of the county, some 150 miles away, and tries again.

Six hours later he calls his wife and asks, "IS THAT DARN CAT HOME?"

"Yes, why?" asks the wife.

Paddy says, "PUT THE DARN CAT ON THE PHONE, I'M LOST!!!"

What has ears that can’t hear?

Corn.