Agent (to writer): I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Writer: First tell me the good news.
Agent: Paramount Pictures just loved your script, absolutely ate it up.
Writer: That’s fantastic! And the bad news?
Agent: Paramount Pictures is the name of my dog.
What do you call a hippie's wife?
Mississippi.
Seeing his shares plummet on a black morning during the recession, the boss called to his secretary, “Get my broker, Miss Wilks!”
”Certainly, sir. Stock or pawn?”
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary...
How would we ever know?