Best Jokes

My favorite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather...

Until my mother took the urn from me.

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced, "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work."

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed when the announcement rang loud and clear, "Resume all unnecessary work."

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."