Best Jokes

Why does a scuba diver fall off the boat backwards?

Because if he fell frontwards he'd still be in the boat!

It's strange to think 75 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today everyone has a car and only the rich own horses.

Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, "Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead."

The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints.

A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50 foot motor-home, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.

"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."

Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment. "Our nanny is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."

The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

"It doesn't really matter, as long as he or she fits in the cannon."