Best Jokes

What did one ear say to the other?

Nothing, ears don't talk they listen!

Waiter: "Sir, shall I cut the pizza into four or eight pieces?"

Customer: "Please cut it into only four. I won't be able to eat eight pieces."

During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Elated, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.

Patient: "Doctor, I feel as though nobody understands me."

Doctor: "What do you mean by that?"