Best Jokes

An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.

After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"

Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz

Dad: What? How?

Little Johnny: I missed the only question

Dad: What was the question?

Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire?

Dad: And what did you say?

Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!!

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"

A little boy in the front row said, "You're a mother."