Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads, "Talking Dog for Sale."
Intrigued, he walks in. "So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog.
"I've led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?"
The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!"
There was once a police atom who ran into a suspect atom.
As they looked at each other the police atom said, "I've got my ion you!"
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
I was sharing with a friend my opinion that women should come with instructions.
She replied, "Why? It's not like men read the instructions anyway."
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