Best Jokes

A man called up a bird store the other day and said, "Send me 30,000 cockroaches at once!"

"What in heaven's name do you want with 30,000 cockroaches?"

"Well," replied the householder, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises here in exactly the same condition in which I found them."

Pedro - "Have you heard about Murphy's Law?"

Carlos - "Yes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

Pedro - "Cole's Law?

Carlos - "It's Julienne Cabbage in a Creamy Dressing."

One night while I was watching TV, I got a call from a strange number. Before I could react, my wife reached over, grabbed my phone and answered it.

"Honey," a sweet woman's voice came from my phone, "why haven't you been coming over lately?"

My wife got so angry that she started making a scene. In order to calm her down, I had no other choice but to go shopping with her and bought the bag she had been wanting. When we got home, my wife went inside and left her phone outside in the car. I was just about to bring it in to her when the phone buzzed. A new message appeared on the screen...

"Did you get that bag?"