One minute you're young and fun...
The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.
"Mr. Jones," began the timid looking young man, "May I... um... can I... what I mean is, will you...."
"Why yes my boy, you have my blessing," smiled the girl's father.
The young man gasped. "What's that? I have your what?" he asked.
"My blessing to marry my daughter of course," replied Jones. "That's what you mean isn't it, you want to marry her don't you?"
"Why no," said the young man. "I just wanted to know if you could lend me $50.00?"
"Certainly not!" said Jones, sharply. "Why I hardly know you!"
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally laid down the law. Each item of clothing she had to pick up would cost her son 25 cents.
By the end of the week, he owed her $9.50. She received the money promptly, along with a 50 cent tip and a note that read, "Thanks, Mom, keep up the good work!"
A young missionary on his first term in Africa is out away from camp having devotions in a quiet clearing, as was his custom. This one particular day, while reading his Bible, a lion comes and lies down right beside him, so close that the hot warm smell of his breath is wafting over him. He is, as you would suppose, exceedingly uneasy.
He closes his eyes, praying, but when he opens them he sees another lion approach from the brush. The lion proceeds to lie down on the other side of him.
Convinced as he is that this is a test of his faith, he determines to return to his Bible reading. As soon as he does so, the two lions pounce upon him and devour him.
Moral of the story: Don't read between the lions.