Best Jokes

I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.

Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.

"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits... and this one's even better because it locks!"

I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD...

I could have sworn it was here a minute ago!

Tower: Cessna 2737 you are three miles from final, turn left 270 and expect the RNAV to Runway 27.

Pilot: Aye Aye, Captain!

Tower: Cessna 2737... read back and repeat all the instructions correctly.

Pilot: 10-4!

[Nearly 30 seconds later...]

Tower: Uhh..., Cessna 2737 please repeat back all instructions immediately!!

Pilot: Okay, I am so sorry about that, my co-pilot was at the controls and radio. Turning left to 270, and expecting the RNAV for runway 27 for Cessna 2737.

Tower: Readback is correct, and by the way, your co-pilot could use some training!

Pilot: Yeah, I concur with you. The only problem is that you can only teach a parrot so much!!