Best Jokes

The New Yorker asked his friend if he was a Giant fan...

His friend said, "No, I'm an air conditioner."

A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate agent decided to have an open-house nearly every day to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about the house.

One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but she could not tell it to him.

"Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret. I promise I won't tell anyone."

She looked him straight in the eye before whispering, "We have monsters in our sewer."

What did the right eye say to the left one?

Something smells between us!