Best Jokes

Mr. Jones visited the Widow Brown every evening and had tea.

"Why don't you marry her?" ask a friend.

"I have often thought about it," said Mr. Jones. "But where would I spend my evenings?"

Didya hear the one about the new show planned for TV's Food Network sponsored by the Arthur Andersen accounting firm?

It's called "Cook the Books"!

Two old men are sitting on a bench. A truck passes on the road. It is pulling a trailer loaded with turf. One of the men says, "See, that's what I will do when I win the lottery."

"What?" asks the other one confused.

"I will send my grass away for cutting!"

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn't remember.

"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough."

"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.

"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.

"It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought the usual thirty dollar's worth."