Mabel never went to church. She always promised to go but never did. The pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter she was there for every Sunday service.
Three months later, after a Sunday service, the pastor asked her, “What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it looks like you can't get enough of it?"
She replied, “It's this new car of mine pastor... they told me the warranty will lapse if I miss even one service!”
A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers.
The golf pro says, "Yes, they are just $1.00 each. "
The guy gives the golf pro a dollar and says he'll take one.
The golf pro opens the register, puts the dollar in the tray and with a big smile hands the guy a quarter.