Best Jokes

A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the impresario.

"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I'm sure it will amaze you."

He climbs up to the high wire and jumps off! He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows and the man begins to fly. He soars upward, turns, and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid air and gently lowers himself to the ground.

The impresario says, "Is that all you've got? Bird impressions?"

Using a new painting program on my computer, I managed to come up with a very credible still life of fruit. I made a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a graphic designer. She called when it arrived.

"Isn't it good"? I asked.

She chuckled and in a tone that echoed mine from years ago, replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We put it on the refrigerator."

"Evidently, my pain pills are not working."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you're still here."