Best Jokes

4 votes

My wife and I had a disagreement and she said, "You always play devil's advocate!"

I said, "Well, not all the time."

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "jesse509" |
$25.00 won 4 votes

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa.

As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.

"Shoot!" Mrs. Morrison screamed to her husband. "Shoot!!"

"I can't!" he yelled back. "I'm all out of film!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
$9.00 won 4 votes

A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the girl a quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl.

Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given.

"Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the preacher said that God loves a cheerful giver. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so that's what I did."

4 votes

posted by "merk" |
4 votes

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a serious bunch. They not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. The following was an exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."

The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop".

4 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |