Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Patient: Doctor, I have a tendency to gain weight in certain places. What would you recommend?
Doctor: Stay out of those places!
Little Johnny's school cook prided herself on the healthy meals she provided with lots of vegetables and fruits.
One day when the power failed, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches.
Upon filling up his plate, Little Johnny's comment was, "Finally, a home-cooked meal!"
There is a glass of water on the table.
Optimists think the water in the glass is half full.
Pessimists think the water in the glass is half empty.
Opportunists and Realists like me, drink the water in the glass, put it back on the table, and then leave.
(Husband) Honey, according to my focus group men should be in control of the TV remote.
(Wife) Who’s in your focus group?
(Husband) Well, actually right now it’s a focus group of one, but I’m working on membership.
Free Daily Joke