Best Jokes

A small little lady goes into her doctor's office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination the doctor sighs, "I don't seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?"

"Yeah, its really bad whenever it rains." she replies.

"Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in here at once, and we'll take another look at it."

Two weeks later it's raining really hard, and the little lady shows up at the doctor's office. "Doctor, it's really bad today. Please you have to help me!"

"Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up onto the table.

"Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse bring me a surgical kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit."

The little lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later. "There you go, ma'am, try that."

She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims, "That's great,Doc, what did you do?"

To which the doctor replied, "I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots."

I was on family leave, spending my days caring for my two-year-old son while pregnant with my second. To kill some time, I began watching the Game Show Network, and I got hooked. One afternoon my husband came home from work to find the house in complete disarray and I plopped in front of the TV. "So that's what you do while I'm at work?" he said smirking.

"I just happened to have it on," I lied.

The next day we were watching the President give a speech. As he stepped out of his car and waved to his cheering supporters, my son shouted, "Look, Mommy, he won the car!"

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes...

Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.

"You're beautiful and I love you!" I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff.

My echo replied, "I just want to be friends!"