Best Jokes

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.

“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”

I buy all my guns from a guy called “T-Rex”...

He’s a small arms dealer.

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water.

After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled, "Go to sleep, I'm watching TV."

"But Dad," he protested, "my room is still on fire!"