Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A local veterinarian was known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a woman, who was visiting, brought a dog to him after an encounter with a porcupine.
After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.
"$150 dollars, ma'am," he answered.
"Now that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you people, you're always trying to overcharge summer visitors. What do you do in the winter, when there is no one here to overcharge?"
"Raise porcupines, ma'am."
People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”
All I remember is, “Don’t fill up on bread.”
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four."
The more you weigh, the harder it is to kidnap you.
Stay safe. Eat more cake.
Free Daily Joke