Today is the day for decisive action!
Or is it?
Mindy: "I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car."
Missy: "Really? How did you do it?'
Mindy: "I opened the door and pushed him out."
A naked man runs into a tailor's shop.
The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!"
The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?"
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, a lady was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son.
She couldn't help but laugh as she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember... after we land, run to Dad first, then the dog."