Best Jokes

This past Sunday Mary Ellen and Elisabeth went to the 10:30 AM service and the new pastor was long winded and his sermon was quite long.

After the service was finally over, Mary Ellen said to Elisabeth, "The sermon was beautiful don't you think?".

Elisabeth replied "Oh yes it was, but a bit too long. Next week I'm bringing my cushion to sit on, these benches are too hard."

She continued to say, "You know Mary Ellen at one point during the sermon I thought my butt went to sleep."

Mary Ellen said, "I know, I heard it snore three times."

I once bought a wooden car, with a wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, and wooden seats.

I then put the wooden key in the wooden ignition.

It wooden start.

Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.

Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked.

"Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies."