My girlfriend has started calling my hair “the economy”....
She says it's because my hair is showing signs of a recession.
My mate recently got divorced from his wife.
They decided to split the house.
He got the outside.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' Father's name was?"
Another child said, "The Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The little one said, "Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge n' Mary."
Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
Daughter: Dad…
Daughter: Dad…
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth