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Favorite this joke Teacher: "Walter, spell FROG."
Walter (rather frightened): "F-R, F-R..."
Then the boy sitting in back of him stuck him with a pin and Walter yelled, "Oh gee!"
Teacher: "Correct!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I had no idea you could yodel.
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.''
The teacher says, ''No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?''
Another little boy stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, ''No, that's wrong.''
The teacher asks, ''Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?''
Little Johnny stands up and says, ''Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.''
''Excellent Little Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?''
Little Johnny says, ''That's easy. Two plus two be fore.”
A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.
"My goodness," he exclaimed. "You are quite old to be driving!"
"Yes," he replied. "I am old enough that I don't need a license anymore. The last time I went to my doctor he examined me and asked if I had a driving license. I told him yes and handed it to him."
"He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces and threw them in the wastebasket. 'You won't be needing this anymore,' he said."
"So I thanked him and left."
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