Best Jokes

Dave irritated everyone in our office. Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude, we all steered clear.

He must have suspected he was annoying because he asked a co-worker, "Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?"

Larry responded, "It saves time."

A manager in a large company noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only -- Smith, Jones, Baker -- that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mails. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus.

"It’s a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said.

"What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let’s Just Be Friends virus?"