Best Jokes

$7.00 won 4 votes

The CEO of a large cooperation was giving advice to a junior executive. "I was young, married and out of work," he lectured. "I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them and sold them for ten cents each."

"I see," said the junior executive. "You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business."

"No," said the CEO. "Then my wife's father died and left me a fortune."

4 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "Douglas" |
4 votes

An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground.

Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”

With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back—and fell off the other side. From the ground again, he called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”


4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asked.

“135,” I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, “Your height?”

“5 foot 4,” I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5 foot 2 inches. She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I screamed. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
4 votes

I called the pharmacist to get a prescription refill. After leaving a message on their answering machine they called me back.

The nice young lady from the pharmacy explained they needed the prescription number off the pill container because they didn't understand the medication dosage I'd described.

She looked it up and said she'd found the problem. It was 20MG Tabs and not 2 OMG tablets.

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Marty" |