Best Jokes

$5.00 won 4 votes

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors.

"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine."

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "mcdanijt" |
4 votes

Why was the artist the only one that could see her painting?

Because it was a pigment of her imagination.

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Quizzleone" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

She has the face that could launch a thousand ships...

And attitude that could sink them all!

4 votes

posted by "kjk" |
4 votes

An old man is sitting at his table in the hotel dining room with a bowl of soup in front of him. He calls the waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.

"Is the soup too cold?" asks the waiter.

"Taste the soup," says the old man.

"Is it too salty?" asks the waiter.

"Taste the soup!" says the old man.

"Is there a fly in it?" asks the waiter.

"JUST TASTE THE SOUP WILL YA!" the old man insists.

The waiter looks down: "OK then...Where is the spoon?"

The old man exclaims, "Aha!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |