Best Jokes

I tried to catch some fog...

I mist!

A woman walked into my father's carpet store. She'd just moved out of her parents' home and needed something for her new living room.

"Do you know how big the room is?" my father asked her.

"Yes," she said. "It's 22 flip-flops long by 18 flip-flops wide... and I wear a size 8."

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's almost half over," he said.