Best Jokes

A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.

So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Williams is."

A few minutes later, the boy returns.

"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.

"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.

"At me? Whatever for?"

"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Williams told me it's none of your business how old she is."

A store owner was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up on his left and erected a huge sign which read, "BEST DEALS".

He was shocked when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading, "LOWEST PRICES".

Panic ensued until he had an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read, "MAIN ENTRANCE".

I was supposed to go out with this guy on Saturday night. On Saturday afternoon he called and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends.

So I hung up and called him back. He said, "Hello?"

I replied, "Hey, friend, it’s me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"