Best Jokes

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.

"We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy about is, in this country we are all free."

Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four!"

Little Johnny is watching his father, a minister, prepare his Sunday sermon. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"Preparing my sermon for tomorrow," his father answers.

"But how do you know what to write?" asks little Johnny.

"I write what God tells me," was the reply.

Little Johnny thinks about this for a second and then asks, "So why do you keep on crossing out?"

A girlfriend calls her boyfriend over and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a neat jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The girlfriend says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling the tiger on that box.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax, and then…..” he sighed, “lets put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.”