Best Jokes

There was a "hard boiled" foreman at a rather large construction site that was constantly urging his workers to go faster.

The men were getting tired and one day he heard someone shout, "Rome was not built in a day!"

"I know it wasn't," replied the foreman. "But that's because I was not in charge of that project. "

A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph.

"This is a fine picture" said the neighbor. "But this is a picture of one of the girls. Where is the other one?"

"Well," said the father, "when we got to the photographer's, the good wife and I decided that since the twins look exactly alike, one picture would do for both of them."

Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured.

"You don't love me any more," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling."

"What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse."

Boss: “The word 'Impossible' does not exist in my dictionary!”

Secretary: “Well Sir, maybe you should have checked it first before buying it.”