Best Jokes

My three year old was saying his nightly prayers in a very low voice.

"I can't hear you," I whispered.

He said firmly, "Wasn't talking to you."

Why couldn't the sailor learn all the letters in the alphabet?

Because he spent a lot of years at 'C'...

A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she'd start right in on him again.

After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight."

His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?"

He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with king hi four aces."

So a burglar broke into my house...

I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!