Best Jokes

Little Johnny went fishing with his dad, who had his fishing license on the back of his hat.

After a while they had caught no fish when Little Johnny offered the following suggestion: "Dad, turn your hat around so the fish can see your license."

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.

"Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family."

A New York importer consulted the wine list at an in in the Chateau district of France. She was surprised to note that the wines of poor years were priced very much higher than those of good years.

"It is for your compatriots, who usually know nothing about wines," the proprietor explained. "They always order the most expensive. Thus we sell them our poor wines and save the best for our regular clients.

Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"

Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."