Best Jokes

A man and a woman were going at it on the sofa when the phone rang.

"Who was that?" the guy asked.

"My husband," she replied.

"Damn, I better get going then," the guy said. "Where was he when he phoned?"

"You can relax," said the woman. "He's downtown playing poker with you."

Why did little Johnny put his teddy in the freezer?

He wanted a Polar Bear.

Child: "Mom, can I go out to play?"

Mom: "What? With those holes in your pants?"

Child: (looking down at his pants) "No, with the kids next door..."

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.