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Favorite this joke I took to heart my doctors suggestion to get more exercise...
Only problem was I thought he said, "EXTRA FRIES!"
My wife curiously noticed that every time it was my turn to put the kids to bed they fall asleep in minutes.
I told her that when I play my guitar it works like magic putting kids to sleep.
She said I must be exceedingly talented because it works just like that with her as well.
Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding.
My fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony.
Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
I work for a security company that transports cash, and part of my job is to work with police if a crew is robbed. One afternoon my wife and I were packing to move, when I received a call to report to a crime scene.
"I have to go," I told my wife. "Two of our guards have been held up at gunpoint at a superstore."
As I dashed out the door, she called, "While you’re there, pick up some big cardboard boxes."
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