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Favorite this joke The manager of a touring theatrical company emailed the owner of the theater in a small town where his company was due to appear.
"Would like to hold rehearsal next Monday afternoon at three. Have your stage manager, carpenter, property man, electrician, and all stage hands present at that hour."
A few seconds later he received the following reply: "All right. He'll be there."
Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon.
Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
"Where do you see yourself in six months?"
"I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.
"What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. My wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, as you can see my suit is still damp, ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Gregson's helicopter, landed on top of his skyscraper, and ran over here."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
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