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Favorite this joke A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted... "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I had a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
As I pulled into the gas station, I noticed a woman trying to push her car toward the pump. Having always considered myself a Good Samaritan, I parked and joined her in pushing her car.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm giving you a hand," I said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm stretching before my run."
"I am overjoyed! Soon I will be able to payoff all my loans and at last be debt free.
I'm on my way to the bank, thrilled to know that in a very short while I will finally have all the money I need to begin enjoying life for once.
I am so excited I can hardly get my ski mask on!"
A man walks into a posh restaurant and orders his meal. While he takes the first bite and is looking around, a monkey swings down and steals his plate from him before he is able to stop it.
The man asks the waiter, "Excuse me sir, who owns the monkey?"
The waiter replies, "It belongs to the piano player."
The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my food?"
The pianist responds, "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
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