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Favorite this joke Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant's fingers.
Three kids argue, whose father is the fastest.
One says, "My father is the fastest, he can overtake an arrow he shot with a bow."
The second one says, "My father is even faster - he can shoot a gun and then run to catch the bullet before it hits anything."
The third kid says, "You actually don't understand what speed is. My father is even quicker! He finishes work at 4:30 pm, but he's back home by 3:45 pm almost every day."
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
It was her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us."
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