Best Jokes

The topic of the day at Army Airborne School was what you should do if your parachute malfunctions. We had just gotten to the part about reserve parachutes when another student raised his hand.

"If the main parachute malfunctions," he asked, "how long do we have to deploy the reserve?"

Looking the trooper square in the face, the instructor replied, "The rest of your life."

What do people in China call their fancy plates?

A guy brings a dog to a bar and says he’s the smartest dog in the world.

Guy asks him: Name a character from West Side Story?

Dog: Riff Riff!

Guy asks him: What covers a building or a house?

Dog: Roof Roof!

Guy asks him: Who’s the best baseball player ever?

Dog: Ruth Ruth!

Bartender kicks them both out of the bar.

Dog: What went wrong? Should I have said Cy Young?