Best Jokes

A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the eyes and says "Will you marry me?"

She looks back at him with a smile and twinkle in her eye and replies "Come again?"

We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I’ll have the #24."

"Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that’s the price, not the meal number."

"Oh," he said. "Then give me the #12."

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took my daughter to her grave site, which was located beside a row of pine trees.

“How nice,” I said. “Grandma has a great spot here in the shade.”

My daughter replied, “Mom, aren't they all in the shade?”