Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV."
Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine that, an SUV... what a great gift!"
"Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!"
My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed.
“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?”
“The one that has no roast beef.”
Al: Will you remember me in one year?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in six months?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in one month?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in two weeks?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in one week?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in one day?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in twelve hours?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in one hour?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Will you remember me in one second?
Tim: Of course.
Al: Knock! Knock!
Tim: Who’s there?
Al: See, you forgot me already!
I've only got one thing to say about Fruit of the Loom... I'll be brief, but....