Best Jokes

$5.00 won 4 votes

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, ''Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?''

''I don't know,'' responded the other.

''I'll ask him. ''So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. ''Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?''

''Intelligence,'' the boss said.

“What do you mean, 'intelligence'?''

The boss said, ''Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.''

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, ''That's intelligence!''

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, ''What did he say?''

''He said we are down here because of intelligence.''

''What's intelligence?'' said the friend.

The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, ''Take your shovel and hit my hand.''

4 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
4 votes

A deacon is in the hospital and his good friend, a preacher, goes to visit him. The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed. The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies.

At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, "I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here." The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, "Please, get up. You're kneeling on my oxygen hose."

4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

A cowboy was leading a flock of sheep down Main Street when he was ordered to stop by the town policeman.

“What’s wrong?” the cowboy asked. “I was just heading my ewes into a side street.”

“That’s the trouble,” the policeman replied. “No ewe turns permitted on Main Street!”

4 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed at the hospital when his friend came to visit. "What happened to you?" the friend asked.

"Well, we went to the amusement park and decided to ride the roller coaster. As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I went around again, but we went by so quickly that I still couldn't see what the sign said. By now I was determined, so I went around a third time. As we reached the top I stood up in the car to get a better view."

"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked his friend.

"Yes, it said remain seated at all times."

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |