Best Jokes

At my ten-year-old’s request, I loaded my Rolling Stones tunes onto his iPod.

"I had no idea you liked the Stones," I said.

"Sure. I like all that old-fashioned music," he said.

"What do you mean, ‘old-fashioned music’?"

"You know," he said defensively. "Music from the 1900's."

A man is drinking with his wife when out of the blue he announces, "I love you."

"Is that you or the beer talking?" she asks.

"It’s me," he says, "talking to the beer."

What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey!

I got pulled over. The cop asked me why I didn't stop at the stop sign?

I answered, "Do you believe everything you read?"