Best Jokes

It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it.

When we got home, the kids rushed right into the house with the news. "Daddy, the Jeep was breaking down, but Mom made the noise stop!"

Impressed, my husband asked, "How did you fix it?"

"I turned up the volume on the radio," I confessed.

All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception...

The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate".

My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll call and he never heard his name.

"Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William?!" he complained.

Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

"What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I’ve bought cars for $500!"

"That’s why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don’t have to drive $500 cars."