Best Jokes

A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?”

“No,” I replied. “I’ve got a cold and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”

“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.”

I heard about a new website: www.needleinahaystack.com.

Took me ages to find it!

A lettuce and a tomato were in a race.

Who won?

The lettuce went a head, but the tomato never could ketchup.

A man went into a discount store and asked the woman cashier if everything in the shop was $1.

“That’s right,” she said. “Every item in the store.”

So he gave her a dollar and asked for the cash register.