Interviewer: What drives you?

Candidate: The bus mostly.

Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?

Candidate: Missing the bus!

It’s always scary when a computer turns into a zombie...

It has many mega-bites!

Wife: "Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do?"

Husband: "Hide it in his books. I know he will never touch them."