misc jokes
Favorite this joke A local doctor cares for a family who owns a funeral home.
When the father came in for a visit, the doctor greeted him, "It's good to see you."
His reply, "It's better to be seen than to be viewed."
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.
Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.
I got her a Fosters. She didn't like it... so I had it.
Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn't like it... so I had it.
It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider.
By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.
Teen #1: I took the girl you set me up with to a matinee, we watched the Wizard of Oz. Afterwards we went to brunch.
Teen #2: Sounds great, will there be a second date?
Teen #1: I don’t think so, during the meal she kept clicking her heels together three times.
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